In Your Bidness

The State of Arkansas is not my kids mama. Unfortunately, she thinks she is.

My daughter walked in from her first day of school and presented us with the traditional stack of paperwork. Among the assorted permission slips and acknowledgments was a new one. We were supposed to inform the school district what out of school physical fitness program our child was enrolled in. The document was quite stern and referenced Arkansas law. I threw it away.

For some reason, the State of Arkansas thinks it needs to worry about how much exercise my daughter is getting outside of school hours. I've got news for the State of Arkansas, its none of their business and none of their concern.

I looked up the law that was so sternly referenced. The text of the law was for the establishment of some sort of board to advise school districts on nutrition and exercise and recommend standards. The law said nothing about requiring parents to report private enrollment (or non-enrollment) in out of school activities. As far as I know, the State of Arkansas has no right whatsoever to demand information of this sort from me.

In fact, they don't. The school district is simply using the name of the law, to scare people into reporting when, in fact, the law is just another meaningless law creating a board seat for some political appointees to make a few bucks like the ten thousand other meaningless commissions and boards authorized by our joke of a General Assembly.

We here in Arkansas know why this sudden fascination with fat kids on the part of our state. It comes from our formerly fat governor. Our governor is running for President, or Vice President, or something. When he is a candidate for something, he loses a lot of weight and makes a big deal of it.

This time is different though, he is preaching the fat thing and making laws. I didn't mind him writing the book about it, doing the tv interviews about it, or doing all those marathons and talking about it all the time. But I do mind him going on a crusade with the attitude that since he was fat, and isn't anymore, he knows how to raise our kids better than we do and must make it law.

So we had the crusade to get soda machines out of schools. You know, I had soda machines in my school and I never got as fat as the Governor was. I did not need that law, the Governor did. Neither of my kids were as fat as the Governor was when soda machines were still allowed. They did not need that law.

The Governor, an alleged conservative Republican, got a burr under his saddle about smoking in restaurants and got a law passed to put a stop to smoking just about everywhere. Now I don't mind passing a law preventing smoking in public buildings, but us conservative Republicans believe that a private property owner ought to be able to allow smoking, or not. It is his property and his place of business. If someone wants to open "The Cancer Bar" and cater to chain-smokers, that ought to be his right. Anyone who doesn't want that atmosphere can stay away. They can even open their own "No Smoking Pool Hall" if they want. Unfortunately, we have a "conservative Republican" governor who thinks its up to him and the General Assembly to decide.

A bar or restaraunt does not have to please everyone. Some people do not like meat-eating and consider it unhealthy. Should we pass a law to prohibit meat-eating at restaurants? No, people who don't eat meat can just stay away.....just like I stay away from the health food place. I do not go into health food places insisting they carry Cheez Whiz. But its okay for the governor to go into a bar and insist they stop allowing their customers to smoke.

I can tell you that our Governor has gotten his last vote from this conservative Republican. I know a conservative Republican when I see one, and there isn't one in Little Rock. I think I am going to go out and buy my kids some Hostess Twinkies in honor of our governor. I believe that I will go buy a jar of Cheez-Whiz and devour it in his name and share some of it with my kids. There is not a bleeding thing he can do about it.

Patrick Henry warned us to guard our liberties and trust no one who approached "that jewel". Be suspicious of any government body that tries to get in your business, even those who claim they are doing it for your own good.